The New Normal
Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled—
to cast aside the weight of facts
and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world.
- Mary Oliver
My spring has looked a little different than I thought it would, how about you?
I’ll admit, in the early days of the pandemic/the quarantine/the stay at home order, I thought to myself, “I am MADE for this.” Now, I’m of course setting aside (not flippantly) the devastating reasons that have brought us to this point and I know it’s affecting many, many people. But (and I don’t think I’m alone in this) this virus is still a bit on the periphery of my life. Has it impacted my life? Yes. But only in an “inconvenient” way so far. And truthfully, not much in my life had to change. And that is a gift that is not lost on me. I already work at home. My husband has a secure job. My kids are home, but they’re a little older and able to be pretty self-sufficient most of the time. And more than that, I LOVE to be at home. There were weeks (pre-quarantine) when I would realize I hadn’t left the house in 3 days. I’m almost giddy to have an empty calendar. Hours to fill by baking bread, taking walks, and reading? Count me in! I can adjust to this. And yet . . .
It’s different when it’s something you choose vs. something “imposed” upon you. Or something you’re willing to endure for the good of others. So it’s getting long. I find myself waking up with slightly less enthusiasm for the day ahead. The hours stretched out before me seem like they should be filled by super productive activities. Like I finally have All. The. Time. I’ve ever wanted. And instead of being bored by having nothing to do I feel overwhelmed by having too many things to do, which for me creates the opposite effect. I do nothing. Sometimes. Or at least it feels like I’m doing nothing. Or not enough anyway.
The ebb and flow of creativity has been unreliable, to say the least. I have plenty of things I’d like to make, to paint, to create, to explore, to learn. With a general lack of motivation to do them. Which seems counter-intuitive, but one thing we’ve learned in this moment is that nothing is predictable anymore. I’m trying to grab creativity when I can, to hold on and let it take me where it will on any given day. And I’m trying not to make perfect the enemy of good. This “new normal” is requiring me to be flexible and to pivot when possible. The economic disaster we’re currently in is going to have massive repercussions for my business, as it will for just about everyone unless you’re in the business of making toilet paper, flour, or trampolines.
My “word for the year” for my business back in January (ah, remember January?) was “Fruition.” Now the challenge is going to be redefining what that’s going to look like in 2020. I think we can meet this new normal with ingenuity, gratitude, and a little bit of grace.
